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Rants and Raves  Sometimes I wish that I was mean... Someone who could berate anyone and has no regrets doing it... Someone who feels good after saying what really is in her mind... Someone who can stand up and say "NO!" Someone... Someone not like me... Kanina I was asked to lend something to a certain someone, so I said ok. No problem. Then later on, she asked me to do something again which would completely trouble me because I have plans of my own. And she doesn't even think another thing about it. So I am stuck with chores I do not like to do because, I don't even like this somebody in the first place. We're not even close, we are not in the same wavelength here. Haay! But I'm still gonna do it anyways. Big bummer!!! Current mood:  Haaarrrrruuuuuuuuummpphhhh!!!.
So here I am, going to attempt the unexpected. Divulge my thoughts about a certain subject matter that involves lives other than my own. This is a story about a certain somebody who is very close friends with the one-eyed green monster of jealousy-ville. On the outside, she seems to look okay, but everytime the monster sits beside her and leans close to say something in her ear, she flares up!!! She becomes this little ball of frenzied gremlin hyperactive and ready to pounce, everything that comes in contact with her immediately self-destructs. She throws these fits of rage that wakes up the whole household and even the neighboring houses just because of simple things you would think is absolutely nothing. Throwing a fit is one thing but a ruckus is absolutely another. I wish her peace of mind, after all, it was her that started and insisted it all. Current mood:  nyahahaha!!!.Current music: Invincible - Christian Bautista. So, here goes, almost a year after marriage somebody from my family is in a precarious predicament. His wife which we will name Agent Mike caught him cheating on her. And she has proof. She got his love letters and she's mad. She confronted him about it and he never denied the incident citing that the third party knew all along that he was already married. So the rampage went on, and she had good reasons for it. They were shouting, crying, and everything else in between. With the baby forgotten and abandoned. Atleast that's what a very reliable source told me. So, to the rescue is the moderator of all fights,let's give her a name Agent 001. 001 was a master referee, she never lets arguments big or small to go underway. When she intervened between Agent Mike and (lets call the husband) Juliet and asked what was the commotion about, she then reported to 001 what she had recently found out. 001 then went on and told Agent Mike that this was nothing because it was just a fling and nobody took those things seriously. When I found out about this I was pretty much dumbfounded, so were the rest of the people who found out this un-comely reply. Then, Agent Mike's mom moved into the picture and tried to patch things up between the two, and when she also came to know the origin of said argument, she immediately agreed that 001's comment was absolutely correct. Gosh, I never thought I'd see the day. And I thought this only went on in movies. Later, me and a good friend of mine were discussing this very strange turn of events. I would say that maybe we should talk to Agent Mike and give her some advice about handling relationship and so on and so on. But she vehemently disagreed because frankly, no one likes Agent Mike very much. Because of the following reasons: * She puts Agent Juliet on a leash and a very tight one at that. Not allowed to go out, even on family affairs. * She is very paranoid. She once accused him of flirting with somebody he used to court and had a "WW2" reenactment at home just because when they saw her somewhere, he acknowledged her presence and smiled at her. * She also 'allegedly' became jealous of her own younger sister and accused Agent J of flirting with her. * Does not want him to get a job and just stay at home and be 'yayo' to their kid. * I have lots more to say but I am running out of space and my fingers would tire from over-typing. Now, this good friend of mine told me that when they were talking (Agent J) he confessed of having absolutely no feelings for agent M whatsoever. That he was tired and have absolutely no respect for the latter. He was still in the relationship because he loved his kid so much. That was it, the only thing sustaining him to keep on going with his life with her. That's the saddest thing I have ever heard someone say. I mean it. It was hard daw at times because he sees a lot of girls he's attracted to and were obviously interested in him but he tries and keep it sane by saying to himself over and over again, "May anak na ako! May anak na ako!" instead of saying, "May asawa na ako! May asawa na ako!" He told this friend of mine that he never even wanted him to marry her in the first place. The whole family just insisted on it because she was already pregnant AND she was berating his parents on the phone about it. They even received cussing from her. Can you just imagine that. Grabe, I hope this affair goes well. Coz, I'm not sure how sad and mind boggling I'm going to write of next if this keeps on going. Current mood:  huuuhhhhhmmm!.
Its been months, almost a year since I last wrote here. I was pregnant and busy with Josh and his "things" that I haven't been doing much of my own lately. But now, I can indulge myself again with my own time. I am obsessed with one thing though. And that I cannot disclose to anyone at all. Sinister and dirty talaga. hehe. LAYER ONE: -- Name: Hannah Lee Belmonte -- Birthdate: September 24, 1981 -- Birthplace: Manila, Philippines -- Current Location:Manila -- Eye Color: brown -- Hair Color: brownish -- Height: 5'1 1/2 -- Righty or Lefty: Righty-O! LAYER TWO: -- Your heritage: Filipino. -- Your weakness: Josh, Chad, Sasha and Janjie, Food, computers, niftyand hi-tech gadgets, make up -- Your fears: losing people I love… growing old without someone beside me… and deep water -- Your perfect pizza: lots of cheese, mushrooms, lots of onions and bell peppers, beef.. -- Goal you'd like to achieve: do something big (and become famous.. haha, kiddin), make a huge difference, help people,raise a good and handsome family, be happy LAYER THREE: -- Your most overused phrase(s): Josh Andrei, NO! (haha! that's being a mom for you.) -- Your thoughts first waking up: Is Josh ok? -- Your best physical feature: aaahhh, nose??? i guess, I'm not really sure. -- Your bedtime: it depends on Josh -- Your most missed memory: having lots of time for myself and going out everyday with friends LAYER FOUR: -- Pepsi or Coke: I don't usually drink soda but when I do, its coke. -- McDonald's or Burger King: definitely McDo! Love ko to! -- Single or group dates: Single and group. depends on my mood. -- Adidas or Nike: Nike… just do it! -- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton -- Chocolate or vanilla: Neither -- Cappuccino or coffee: coffee LAYER FIVE: -- Smoke: I did, when I was in college, present time ... every now and again. When I go out. -- Cuss: I usually don't ... the hardcore ones at least. -- Sign: Libra -- Take a shower every day: every morning, twice sometimes… at night. -- Have a crush(es): crush ko, my hubby, until now. haha! corny ko noh. -- Do you think you've been in love: I am in love… *daydream* -- Want to go to college: graduated -- Like high school: Oh yes. -- Want to get married: already am. -- Believe in yourself: Yes, with God’s grace. -- Get motion sickness: Sometimes, when the driver’s stupid. Or when I’m texting or reading inside a moving car. -- Think you're attractive: uhhhhm… if I’m not, I could be. Haha! -- Think you're a health freak: oh no no no no no no no no no… -- Get along with your parents: Yes…teehee -- Like thunderstorms: Well, somewhere in the middle. I don’t like it, but I don’t dislike it. -- Play an instrument: a little piano and violin… LAYER SIX: In the past month . . . -- Drank alcohol:Punch w/ alcohol, yes. -- Smoked: yeah -- Made out: uhhhh -- Gone on a date: Yipee yup yup -- Gone to the mall: With my love -- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Yikes, I can’t remember the last time I ate an oreo cookie. -- Eaten sushi: I miss sushi!!! Nope… -- Been on stage: Nope… I don’t even have the chance. -- Been dumped: Nope… -- Gone skating: oooh, cool. I wish. -- Shoplifted: Ewww, no. -- Changed who you were to fit in: oh, they like me already. Hahaha… kiddin. Nope. LAYER SEVEN: -- Age you hope to be married: Tee hee! I'm already married. But I guess what I was planning before was around 27 or 28ish. Guess you can't plan anything in life. -- Numbers and Names of Children: minimum – 2; max – 4… names? Josh Andrei, Chad Anester, Atasha Renee, Ayden Marcus, Alexis Gwenn, etc etc .... -- Describe your Dream Wedding: Private and intimate. With flowers all around, soft instrumental music playing in the background, -- How do you want to die: When the time comes that I know that my kids are going to be ok. if possible, with my husband (eeewww, freaky ba?) in our sleep. i don't want to leave him alone and don't want to be left alone by him. -- Where you want to go to college: i went to UST but I really wanted to go to La Salle. -- What do you want to be when you grow up: an empathetic nurse, a responsible businesswoman, a caring mother and a loving wife. -- What country would you most like to re/visit: France, Rome, Japan, US, Italy, London, Venice, Singapore LAYER EIGHT: In a guy/girl . . . -- Best eye color: Light brown, doe brown not your ordinary brown. -- Best hair color: black -- Short or long hair: short -- Height: taller than I am.. hahaha… -- Best weight: it really doesn't matter whether your fat (just not monster fat) or thin, just as long as I'm with good company. -- Best articles of clothing: something well-designed -- Best first date location: somewhere public yet intimate -- Best first kiss location: in the moonlight… in a beach preferably. LAYER NINE: -- Number of drugs taken illegally: yeah right… -- Number of people I could trust with my life: chosen few -- Number of CDs that I own: don’t count -- Number of piercings: 2… one each ear.. -- Number of tattoos: none… too scared to have one. -- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? National circ: once, during the board exams. I passed it, haha! school paper: every circ. hehe -- Number of scars on my body: a couple, I was in a whole lot of accident when I was growing up. -- Number of things in my past that I regret: Not regret ... more of being forlorn about what has happened but still content. Current mood:  amused.Current music: 1-2 step, ciara. it's been ages since I last wrote here. Wala lang. I just feel like I haven't got the time or even the energy for it anymore. *sigh* Am I getting too old for all of these??? I even feel like opening my friendster account takes too much of me. I feel out of sync. Or is it just hormones coz ... I'm pregnant! LOL! Yeah, I am ... again! I hope its a girl this time. and I hope she's not going to be a twin. I have developed a phobic reaction from them na. What with all that happened with Josh and Chad in my last pregnancy. I'm really getting excited about Tasha. (haha! too excited I already thought of a name for her already.) Like right now while I'm typing away in my computer, I have headphones stuck on my tummy so Tasha could listen to classical music. They say it helps the brain activity of the fetus if stimulated with the classics. When I read a book for Josh, I make it a point to pat my tummy and ask Tasha if she's listening. just so she knows I'm reading to her too. When I say, "B'josh, give baby Tasha a kiss." Josh would kiss my tummy and lean his head on it. I think their going to be best friends. (I really do hop[e!!!) Well, I'm only 10 weeks underway so nothing yet dramatic is happening to me right now. Except that I have morning sickness every now and then, which I never felt when I was pregnant with the twins. I am always ravenous but I do watch out for my weight. I don't wnat to experience pre-ec again. Its too dangerous for me and my baby's health. The downside of it all is that the wedding Janj and I were planning is going to be postponed to December next year. I was so looking forward to it but ... well never mind. All in good time. Current mood:  ecstatic.Current music: Baby Mozart. Today was a big day for my brother-in-law, it's his wedding. At 7 am, we were up and about and jumping at every small thing that should be tackled before the big event. We were all a-buzz! Papa was cooking up a storm, he and Mang Ef were adding some more food for the menu for the wedding. Mama was hurriedly chasing everyone to do what they were supposed to do. Janjie was crazy going places for last minute touches, Mabel and the girls were busy prettifying themselves with the help of Benjie, I was insanely running around chasing Josh making sure he doesn't do anything damaging to the flurry of activities going on AND at the same time, had my hair set in curlers! Everyone was so busy doing what they can for the 3 o'clock wedding except for ... The Groom himself. Mac-Mac, at 10 AM, was still lying face down in his bed, seemingly oblivious of the things going on around him (although I highly doubt that he was really asleep. I guess he was just lying there trying to digest it all.) When everyone, including Josh, had had his bath, tooth brushed, made up and ready to don on his tux, Janjie just couldn't ignore it anymore. He shouted at his brother to get his butt off the bed and start getting ready for HIS wedding because everybody else was. They made their go at it and lasted for I guess about 10 minutes which was about to escalate into a fist fight if it wasn't stopped by Mama who reminded them that there was going to be a wedding in a few hours. Mac eventually extricated himself out of bed and prepared himself for the inevitable. 30 minutes before the allotted time, we boarded the cars for the church. When we got there it was FREAKING HOT!!! Shit I was melting in there! I wasn't used to that much heat in my little cocktail dress and a shawl to match while running around to chase Josh! It took its toll on me and halfway the ceremony as was sweating like a pig and my luscious curls were in a disarray that I could only surmise that I looked like a di-shelved lunatic on the rampage with the hair police on my tail. When we got to the reception at Casa Milan, I saw Nanis, Jielyn, Ara and Jazmin waiting by Ara's car. Thank God for small favors! But when we went in the hall, I was shocked! Shocked to see how much people were there. It looked like a baranggay fiesta. Around 400+ people were crammed in and out the hall! Will the food sustain the masses! Grabe! We were lucky to snag a table all to ourselves. Papa went to us and told us to make a beeline for the buffet table because from the looks of it, not everyone was going to be able to eat. That many! By the time the program started we were comfortably sitting in our chairs, languorously picking at our food and chatting about the wedding. I am not going to go into it na. Private conversation, HELLO! Anyways, the highlights of the said event were: * After the bride sang to her groom, the emcee asked the groom what he would do for the bride after that sweet gesture, he punched her on the chin and laughed out loudly. Wow Sweet! * The finale was a bunch of people doing a folk dance-igorot rendition to the tune of techno music. I felt like I was in a real fiesta and a local school was performing a dance number choreographed by their 35 y/o gay teacher. Jazmin promised Ara that on her wedding she would do the exact same thing! All of us laughing, Ara cringed. Current mood:  haaaay!!!!!.
I feel weak. I am scared out of my wits. I feel like letting go but couldn't. Helplessly falling into depression. It's a numbing feeling. Having to wait for a dreaded answer that deep inside you already know. That you already feel that its the truth but won't let your mind and your heart accept the factuality of the word. I don't want to lose her, Atasha Reneè. I so want her to be with me, with us. But if she comes to us like the way Josh did or even worse, I don't know if I'm capable of accepting life anymore. I love Josh, he is my everything, but to have Tasha and be afraid of what's going to become of her, *sigh* ... Its hard, too hard for me. I feel weak. I am scared out of my wits. I feel like letting go but couldn't. Current mood:  depressed.
Is it customary for husbands to be so overprotective of their wives to the extent that he doesn't want you to play with their son in their own front yard coz there are guys outside? Coz my husband just told me exactly that about 2 days ago. Ain't that the craziest thing you have ever heard? And here I thought that girls were the more jealous type. He was never like this before. I don't know. When we were only going out he was the one who liked to show me off. He liked the fact that I'd get all dolled up and he'd have absolutely no complaints about it. Now, im not even wearing make up, nakapambahay lang ako eh pinipilit pa akong dun sa tagong section ng yard kami maglaro ni josh coz may mga lalake daw sa labas. Tama ba naman un. Niloloko tuloy ako ng sis ko na I should wear a signage on my neck saying "may asawa na po ako." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am pissed off at the news bombarding the tubes today. That Prince Charles announced his engagement to Camilla Parker Bowles. Enraged at the thought that he, a "prince" of all people who should uphold a certain standing and principle in this mixed up world should be involved in such a predicament. He's supposed to be "ordained" by God. Current mood:  Grrrrrrr!!!!.Current music: Soldier - Destiny's Child. I am sick. yes that's correct people, I am sick. And i hate being sick. My cold hasn't even abated yet, not in the slightest. Now i have a horrible cough which wakes me up at night. In which case i have troubles falling back to sleep again. Then, just yesterday, i broke into a fever. I have headaches from discrete movements. My right ear feels like its about to pop from the cold. AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! Ive been drinking lots of water, warm tea with lemon and honey. nebulize myself but still isn't working and been trying to sleep for hours but it still won't go away. Help. I need a doctor. Things come crashing in mind. Like what if i have dengue fever or something worse. euw... kainis. Current mood:  sick.Current music: too sad to listen to music. |
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